I’ll go first.

Guys, it’s been too long. I know. And it’s totally my fault.

It’s already August. Office goodies are on sale again (met with much rejoicing). Pumpkin beer is in the grocery store (not Pumking though, they’re too classy). Days are getting shorter.

I don’t know how this happened.

I’m torn between singing “lalalala I can’t hear you”, while running away from this pre-fall nonsense and really excited for September. September, as many of you know, is when my fiance comes back from three months in Germany. Mid-winter Brynne shakes her head and says, “Guurrlll, don’t you dare wish your summer away.” while present Brynne is acting like some whiny Disney princess singing to her basil plants and fish about her prince coming home. (We’re even moving to a new castle at the end of the month! Away from the dragon! ((If you don’t get that reference you’re just not cool enough, I’m sorry. If you did get that reference, cyber high-five. You’re in the club.)))

So before we turn this blog back to things more yoga-centric and if you still want to hear my rambling, let me give you a July briefing.

This just in:

I got fish. More aptly put, my sister got me fish. Her words were, “You don’t want a cat, you can’t have a dog, and hedgehogs are illegal in Massachusetts so you get fish.” There were four when I left Pennsylvania and three when I got to Boston. And guys, there was NO BODY. Either one fish was actually an animorph or something went terribly awry. Of course, I had no choice but to collectively name my fish “The Donner Party”. I would add a picture, but they never show up in the pictures I take of them which makes me think they’re not only cannibals, but also vampire fish. I get nervous when they eyeball me from their tank in the morning, swimming in circles all “Jaws” like.

I started consuming sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. I survived my challenge and immediately celebrated with an amazing latte from Blue State. Sugar? Check. Caffeine? Check. Alcohol? Definitely thought about it. I learned that sugar makes me hazy and cranky. I learned caffeine makes me feel drunk in the “lets run to the next bar because RUNNING! Weeeee!” kind of way. I’m sure I looked like I was on drugs because I could not focus my eyes on one thing for more than five seconds. As for the alcohol, I got sushi with a friend and after one shot of sake I was only slightly less drunk than a skunk. The moral: continue consuming these things or you will turn into a  high-maintenance crazy person.

I’m meditating like a crazy person. (Reference “or you will turn into a crazy person”. I will fill you in more on that later.)

I’m still training my elephant. Some of these training have been fun. Others I fully protest. Like “when eating, just eat.” Do you know how weird that is? How will I read the news? How will I watch the Daily Show? How will I know what everyone else is eating for lunch if I can’t get on Instagram? My elephant and I are still trying to work things out. It’s super complicated.

I’m still doing #100happydays. My biggest issue so far is that not everything that makes me happy can be photographed. I’m not talking about the sentimental things like the sweet smell of cut grass or the feeling of sun on your skin. I’m talking about how I see a million wacky people every single day that make me happy and if I was fortunate enough to find my phone fast enough to take a picture of them, it would still make me super creepy. Like when I saw a fat man rapping with a boombox in his scooter. A boombox. His scooter was just way to fast. Or a kid with a Mohawk bike helmet telling a story to his mothers so fast he can barely catch his breath because the story is THAT exciting. I don’t want to scare mothers over this challenge which is why you see a lot of lattes. I do enjoy going back through them all, but I wouldn’t repeat this challenge.

I’m still working on Hanumanasana. On a good day I’m better. If I ran that morning, it’s like I’ve never done the pose in my life. I’ll let you know how I finish.

End briefing.

If you stayed with me, thanks. You’re probably one of the kids in the cool club.