Does your yoga mat have a name?

According to this page, my mat’s name is Captain Cushy Mantra.

Ew.

Srsly? I named stuffed animals better when I was three.

My mat and I refuse to acknowledge this christening.

My mat is an extension of my yoga self. Naming my mat would be as weird as naming my arm. “Hello, I’m Brynne…and this is my left arm, Sergeant Zen Hummus.”

It is a safe place, both sacred and forgettable, while I practice. When I roll out my mat, my body instinctually relaxes, my breath starts to deepen, my mind starts to slow. Basically, the exact opposite reaction of entering a dentist office.

Like any practiced yogi, I have my rolling out the mat routine. My own lucky technique. I relish in the soft thub, thub, thub of an unrolling mat and the crack as the end hits the floor.  I love seeing the worn places from my hands and feet.

I can feel all the experiences, good and bad, that I’ve had pulse on my mat. The workshops, the trainings, the sweat and sweet, and emotions; they’re all there.

Which is why the name is so comically jarring and totally worth the rant.

I hope, by this point, you found your own mat name and are equally put off and willing to share it here. We can start our own “Mats Deserve to Stay Anonymous” Society to end the injustice. It can meet after book club.