I’ve made it half way into my June “three poisons” cleanse.

I’m proud to report I have not had one bit of alcohol, sugar, or caffeine in fifteen days. I’m also not so proud to report what I would do for a cookie, coffee, and a glass of wine.  Or a beer. I’m not picky.

I’ve never been a “foodie”. I don’t overindulge in drinks or sweets or coffee, but as soon as I tell myself no, my brain turns into a rebellious thirteen year old.

I’ve definitely been tested.

On my random road trip to Maine (Hi, Jess!) I passed bakeries with cookies the size of my head and a cannoli longer than my hand.

Boston has had a rainy, dreary June that begs for a good book and a cup of coffee. Instead, I inhabited coffee shops hoping that the caffeine would osmosis into my blood stream while I bitterly drank herbal tea. Confession: I was the crazy person who huffed your coffee when you went to the bathroom.

And stress? Check. Pour me a tall one.

They say at the end of the 30 days you lose your taste for these poisons. At day 15, I think that’s complete bullshit.

To be fair, I have been experiencing some triumph despite my tribulations. For example, I now know it is 100% possible to go through PMS without a bite of chocolate. Or wine. But I would not recommend it since it’s like going down a poorly lubricated slip and slide.

I’ve begun to “sit with my cravings”, as the yogis say, to learn why they are developing. Sometimes my desire to imbibe was a desire to sit and talk with a friend. Or my need for caffeine was actually a cry for more sleep or to eat more. I learned I usually want sugar when it’s close to bedtime and I need a boost to make it. Sometimes I just wanted sugar, caffeine, and alcohol because they’re delicious.

It’s also empowering to say “no” to myself and develop a stronger willpower. I’m banking on Ralph Waldo Emerson’s line, “We gain the strength of the temptations we resist” so I can basically look like a willpower Schwarzenegger when this is over.

I’m really interested to see where the next fifteen days brings me.

I’ll keep you posted.

Have a beautiful Sunday, my friends.